i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
