i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
