she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
