ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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