i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
