He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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