Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
