thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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