when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
