So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
