Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
