please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
