Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
