what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize