Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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