WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
