people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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