sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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