I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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