You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
