so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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