I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
