I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
