you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize