I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
