i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
