so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
