I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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