This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
