You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
