I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
