This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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