Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
