I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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