No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
