Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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