3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
