Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
