mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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