Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
