That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How naked do you want me to be?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
