So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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