Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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