What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
is that a dick in a sweater?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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