I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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