Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
