we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
