Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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