Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
