NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
