whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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